Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I shouldn't have to put Up with this

at 10:59 AM
Sometimes things don't go our way. We become irritable, even angry. It shouldn't be like this, I shouldn't have put up with this, I can't stand it. I deserve better. Albert Ellis, who established the Rational Emotive behavioral therapy called this "I can't stand it" syndrome ".
But every day we find obstacles to get what they want. Other persons or events interfere with what we do. We get caught in traffic, waiting, stuck in the queue longer than the supermarket. Despite this daily proof that things go our way, some of us still feel that must be satisfied our demands and get frustrated, resentful. We could romp, feel better for a short time only build problems for the future.
The question that should things go your way all the time is not realistic. So will always be thwarted from time to time any good initiatives that you put. Well, you might say, I won't bother trying. But that is not an answer. We must put in the effort to achieve our goals. How persisting with driving lessons, even when you feel they're getting worse not better. Because you want to be able to drive.
So instead of feeling stressed out and frustrated, what can you do? In layman's terms, we must learn to cope. Because there will be obstacles and bad things happen to nice people. We need to build resilience, so that we can face challenges when they are. Resilience is our psychological immune system. Protects us from fear of failure, ensures that we can cope when the going gets rough. And you can get much rougher than just someone pinching the car in which you were trying to reverse.
It is the event that causes the anger. It is our interpretation of it. The way we think about it. If we think that "I wouldn't have had to put up with that!", then you will be angry when you find that you have to put up with it. Get stressed. Requests for putting pressure on you. And since the question that the world falls in line with your wishes is unrealistic, the pressure builds up.
Simply changing the way we think about somethings, will change the way you feel about it. For example, it would be wonderful if the lights are all in your favor today, but if they are not, is not the end of the world. Learning how to rephrase your requests as preferences can take a lot of the sting away, but you could say that it is a fairly wimpy thinking. I prefer this or that, I prefer rather that I want it all and I want it now.
Thinking in terms of preferences and to accept that obstacles occur helps build your resilience, your mental strength, which enables you to cope in difficult times. The army includes resilience training as part of its soldier fitness program and American soldiers are hard. Resilience strengthens your self-confidence because you know that can cope with.
As well as the way of thinking in this way you can try less demanding off for real. Enter longest queue at the supermarket with trolleys filled to the brim. What you need to do to avoid going off pop? You listening to music, are distracting working out how to deal with a different problem? Whatever it is, is a valuable skill. Write It Down. The more you do this, the more you will feel in control and will be much easier to deal with difficult situations in the future. Build your stamina, ability to cope in difficult times. Resilience training has proven to help recover from burnout or stress in the workplace.
So how does cognitive behavioural Hypnotherapy help with this then? It helps you to find a more effective way of tackling the problems of life. Helps you learn to relax in any situation. So who feels deeply in control, confident and looking forward to tomorrow.
Caroline Graham-Brown is a Hypnotherapist cognitive behavioral working at Glasgow, Scotland. She specialises in the management of anxiety and weight. She is a member of licensed Hypnotherapy register of Evidence-based psychotherapy, the National Council of Hypnotherapy, UKCHO and CNHC.